Catholics for a Changing Church

"To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often" - Bl. John Henry Newman

Humour: How Many Church Members Does it Take to Change A Light Bulb? (#167)

  • Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
  • Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
  • Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
  • Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
  • Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
  • Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
  • Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
  • Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
  • Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
  • Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
  • Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
  • Amish: What's a light bulb?

 

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